Cheating....hmmm

Welcome to Old Skool Anthems
The Old Skool Resource. Since 1998.
Join now
A

amymars

New member
Apr 28, 2006
2,551
0
0
37
Standish
Before I say anything, this isn't a sympathy thread! Just a confused rant.

Over the weekend I found out my partner was cheating. It wasn't a conventional relationship to begin with, but he just was not the sort of guy you would expect to be doing this kind of thing. My family are shocked and so are my friends....

Turns out I was his bit on the side, he has a girlfriend of 4 years in London, was arranging to fly a girl over from Sweden who he had met on holiday....numerous shag pals in his area, and me, his girlfriend up in Wigan.

I honestly do not understand the mentality of cheating. Is it the thrill of getting away with it? Because he must have been busy! Is it just enjoying having several lives and several peoples attention? Sex? I just don't know.

Makes me think about Tiger Woods and his behaviour. Has anyone ever been cheated on like this? Or cheated on somebody? I was actually like a mad woman yesterday when I found out....and today I'm just very hurt and confused!
 
D

djay

New member
May 4, 2005
205
0
0
Carlisle
People usually cheat when somethings not quite right in there relationship, but to say "he wasn't the sorta lad to do that is naive IMO as men are led by there dicks allways have been and no doubt always will be.

Dunno much more myself as I have been in a 20 year relationship myself, I think the only way relationships survive the test of time is honesty and I'm talking about what you really think and feel.

The truth hurts but it's better to have honesty and truth than skulking liars which allways ends in disaster.

Another thing would have to be womens ideas of men I.e the ones that go out with jack the lad then wonder why he shags your best mate :) it was inevitable.


Choose nicer blokes were not all twats just most of us. :)
 
Northern Star

Northern Star

Moderator
Staff member
May 10, 2004
16,287
0
36
51
On Cloud 9!!!
Sorry to hear this Amy nobody dereves to be treated like this - Most people just dont have the balls to do the honorable thing these days and walk away before doing anything to hurt the other party! I some times think that some feel its the easy option to cheat and get caught :naughty: instead of doin the right thing :thumbsup:
 
S

Silky

Active member
Feb 20, 2005
1,909
0
36
40
New Zealand
If you wanna get him back, you know where i live! ;)

Hope your ok hun, Im sure you will laugh at this one day! It will happen sooner than you think.
 
L

Lozzie

New member
Apr 25, 2004
3,783
1
0
100
If you wanted to go with the flow...would you queu
www.myspace.com
djay said:
People usually cheat when somethings not quite right in there relationship
Click to expand...

That doesn't even apply here at all. It's not the relationship (or 10 it sounds like he's in) it's fucking him. What an absolute looser. But, I have to say, that you can see shit like that coming after getting hurt in various ways. There is always a 'type' who do it in the way this knob cheese has done it to you.


And I agree with Nics, get thee to the clinic...condom or no, some STI's can happen even if u wore 10, and never show simptoms in others (how many people use a dental dam or condom when giving/receiving oral sex for instance...hi coldsore virus) etc.
 
S

seandelier

New member
Dec 8, 2006
944
1
0
Loads of men will cheat if given the chance. A lot of men will deliberately set out to cheat. Some only do it when pissed and regret it. Some don't regret it. Men are different than women and sometimes life sucks. Simples.
 
A

amymars

New member
Apr 28, 2006
2,551
0
0
37
Standish
I know what a lot of you are saying is true. And yes, I got myself down to the clinic yesterday for the full MOT, taking no chances, but I suppose either way whats done is done and I have no idea what I may have been exposed to.

Its very difficult for me to get my head around. On Saturday night this was the guy I'd really grown to care about, who I couldn't wait to see, who my family liked and who I thought I might get serious with. By Monday morning I had found out about his double life and literally hated him. I suspected something was not right and sneaked his phone out when he was asleep, and what I discovered was disgusting. I took his house keys and his phone and packed my belongings and went to sit in my car to read all the texts from other women.

There was not one....but 20+ that I could see. His e-mails were full of 'adult meet' websites and information about where to turn up to orgys in his area, the addresses and what 'equipment' to take along. There was me, his girlfriend as I've mentioned, this London 4 year girlfriend, the Swedish girl who was on about coming over, and lots of shags/links/ whatever in his area who he had been meeting up with. I was like a psycho. I text everyone in his phone with the same message 'my gf has found my messages please don't txt'. And sure enough...calls and texts start coming through, 'omg Kemar, how could you do this to me?' and the like. I actually spoke to the London girl. She was devestated, crying, could hardly breathe. She told me she intended to marry this guy and they were trying for a baby. She was going to move to West Brom with him early next year. I told her absolutely everything about me and him. She told me to let him know it was over. I won't explain what happened when I went back into his house.....but it wasn't pretty.

The guy just had NO explination, no reason. Just kept looking at me with a blank expression. He actually said 'you've ruined it all now'/'she was happy, you were happy, I was happy, whats the problem? We all had a good time and now its over', 'I'm a nice guy Amy it's not like how you think'........ madness.

Maybe he was getting away with it and just wanted to carry on doing so? Maybe he was seriously confused about who he wanted to be with? Its just insane. Two girlfriends weren't enough, he had to shag around too? How did he get away with it? I know that I have spent most weekends this year with him going between our homes. Its not even like he is rich, or intelligent, or even very good looking.....just what is it about these people that they can have such a split personality?
 
stetheboro

stetheboro

Active member
Jul 21, 2001
873
28
28
Louisiana formerly Middlesbrough
I feel for you Amy. Times maybe hard but so I'm told things will get better, this I hope.

I really cannot comment on whats going on the guys head, some may say he has a troubled mind but to hurt somebody else in the way he has is just outright selfish and horrible.
I will stand up in some guys defenses and say that we are not all like that. Im as far away from that as you can possibly get and Im sure that its not just me that is unique in this way. I hope that you get over this and do find Mr Right but its not always that easy, when in life is anything?

Chin Up plus Kalms n Rescue Remedy work a treat if you looking to take some of the edge off the situation

I wish I could find a way to resent my wife, for what she putting me through right now but I simply cant because I love her, but the feeling aint exactly mutual.
 
S

Sheikh Yerbouti

New member
Jan 4, 2008
2,490
0
0
52
Some**** Somewhere in Summertime
amymars said:
I know what a lot of you are saying is true. And yes, I got myself down to the clinic yesterday for the full MOT, taking no chances, but I suppose either way whats done is done and I have no idea what I may have been exposed to.

Its very difficult for me to get my head around. On Saturday night this was the guy I'd really grown to care about, who I couldn't wait to see, who my family liked and who I thought I might get serious with. By Monday morning I had found out about his double life and literally hated him. I suspected something was not right and sneaked his phone out when he was asleep, and what I discovered was disgusting. I took his house keys and his phone and packed my belongings and went to sit in my car to read all the texts from other women.

There was not one....but 20+ that I could see. His e-mails were full of 'adult meet' websites and information about where to turn up to orgys in his area, the addresses and what 'equipment' to take along. There was me, his girlfriend as I've mentioned, this London 4 year girlfriend, the Swedish girl who was on about coming over, and lots of shags/links/ whatever in his area who he had been meeting up with. I was like a psycho. I text everyone in his phone with the same message 'my gf has found my messages please don't txt'. And sure enough...calls and texts start coming through, 'omg Kemar, how could you do this to me?' and the like. I actually spoke to the London girl. She was devestated, crying, could hardly breathe. She told me she intended to marry this guy and they were trying for a baby. She was going to move to West Brom with him early next year. I told her absolutely everything about me and him. She told me to let him know it was over. I won't explain what happened when I went back into his house.....but it wasn't pretty.

The guy just had NO explination, no reason. Just kept looking at me with a blank expression. He actually said 'you've ruined it all now'/'she was happy, you were happy, I was happy, whats the problem? We all had a good time and now its over', 'I'm a nice guy Amy it's not like how you think'........ madness.

Maybe he was getting away with it and just wanted to carry on doing so? Maybe he was seriously confused about who he wanted to be with? Its just insane. Two girlfriends weren't enough, he had to shag around too? How did he get away with it? I know that I have spent most weekends this year with him going between our homes. Its not even like he is rich, or intelligent, or even very good looking.....just what is it about these people that they can have such a split personality?
Click to expand...

Sounds to me like he's either "got issues" or he's just a morally bankrupt arrogant arsehole who gets off on mistreating women.
Either way, I'd say you're well rid.
Feel for ya though. Must have been an awful thing to discover. Just be glad you found out before things got more serious I'd say. And try not to let the experience taint your perception of other blokes. Guys like him are the exception and not the rule.
 
A

amymars

New member
Apr 28, 2006
2,551
0
0
37
Standish
It is just horrible! Its like a mixture of anger, sadness, regret, fear, and more than anything wanting some answers which I cannot get. I really feel at the moment like I want to screw him over. He doesn't deserve anyone, and I want to make sure that none of these women take him back. If they have any sense I'm sure they won't....but he needs to realise this is more than unacceptable. If any of them stay with him then it will just re-affirm his behaviour and he will carry on as normal doing the same things over and over again. I've no doubt it will take him like a week to get over this....and he'll be back on the prowl.

His brother called me last night. He had no idea about any of us. His exact words were, 'wow, this is some Tiger Woods bullsh*t'.
 
S

Sheikh Yerbouti

New member
Jan 4, 2008
2,490
0
0
52
Some**** Somewhere in Summertime
Yeah... your feelings of hurt and anger are of course totally understandable. As is wanting to exact some revenge.
I would ask yourself, is he even worth wasting your time/energy/tears on though? You've told the other women you found on his phone what's going on, if any of them take him back, more fool them.
 
A

amymars

New member
Apr 28, 2006
2,551
0
0
37
Standish
Sheikh Yerbouti said:
Yeah... your feelings of hurt and anger are of course totally understandable. As is wanting to exact some revenge.
I would ask yourself, is he even worth wasting your time/energy/tears on though? You've told the other women you found on his phone what's going on, if any of them take him back, more fool them.
Click to expand...

Very true.....I suppose thats actually about me being hurt that I was infact 'the bit on the side'.
 
D

djay

New member
May 4, 2005
205
0
0
Carlisle
Sheikh Yerbouti said:
I did, and I'm nowt like you, so all men can't be the same.
That's why I asked.
Click to expand...

And how would you know your nothing like me ?? I assume your male have a dick and balls ??? So yes if that's the case your just like me with the exception of holding a relationship for so long.

So I guess looking back on it I maybe not as much of a twat as those who can't hold one down but then I was maybe just lucky.
 


Top Bottom