naughy rhymes or songs when you were a kid
- Thread starter grover
- Start date
Another variation...We used to sing this but with slightly different wording: -
Mardy mardy custard, green snot pie,
all mixed together with a dead dogs eye,
slap it on a butty, nice and thick,
all ends up like a dead dogs d*ck
Ooey gooey green snot pie,
Dead dogs liver with a crushed blow fly,
Mix it all up with a spoon and a stick,
And wash it all down with a cup of cold sick.
6 months later the bugs crawl in,
they crawl out and play ping pong on your spout,
your fingernails turn to an icky green,
'and puss comes out like thick whipped cream,
There is a third verse but I can't remember it...
Think it went like thisSomat like :
Superstar Eddie kidd
caught his balls on a dustbin lid
Thats not right, but someone will know what i mean.
Jesus Christ, Superstar,
came down from heaven on a yamaha,
pulled a skid,
hit a kid,
whacked his balls on a dustbin lid.
Beans beans the musical fruit
The more you eat the more you toot
The more you toot the better you feel
Let’s have beans for every meal !
Hitler has only got one ball,
The other is in the Albert hall,
His mother the dirty bugger cut it off when he was small,
She chucked it into the deep blue sea,
The fishes thought it was time for tea,
So the fishes they grabbed their dishes and had scallops and bollocks for tea
Big slim twat, twice the size of me
hairs on her fanny like branches on a tree
she could hop skip jump stick a barrel up her cunt,
she is the girl that... I like!
(Junior school c/o David Locket, circa 1980)
hairs on her fanny like branches on a tree
she could hop skip jump stick a barrel up her cunt,
she is the girl that... I like!
(Junior school c/o David Locket, circa 1980)
Hitler has only got one ball,
The other is in the Albert hall,
His mother the dirty bugger cut it off when he was small,
She chucked it into the deep blue sea,
The fishes thought it was time for tea,
So the fishes they grabbed their dishes and had scallops and bollocks for tea
we never had a second verse!
In India 1960 at school it was Yellow mutti custard green snot pie all mixed together with a dead dogs eye mix it nice and thick and wash it all down with a cold cup of sick.mutti being earth or muddy
That's so interesting!
I remember being taught a version of this that went
Curdy curdy custard
Green snitch pie
All mixed together with a dead dogs eye
Spread it in a butty, nice and thick
And wash it all down with a cup of cold sick.
I wonder what inspired this poem
I remember being taught a version of this that went
Curdy curdy custard
Green snitch pie
All mixed together with a dead dogs eye
Spread it in a butty, nice and thick
And wash it all down with a cup of cold sick.
I wonder what inspired this poem
Jack and Jill
went up a hill
to fetch a pale of water
I don't know what they did up there
but Jill came down with a daughter
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and everywhere that Mary went
the boys could see her thighs.
Mary had another skirt
'twas split right up the front
...But she didn't wear that one often (actually there is a different ending)
Mary had a little lamb
it ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its arse
and turned its wool to nylon[/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
he kissed them too cos he was gay.
I remember one that went summat like "Jingle Bells, batman smells.." but I can't remember it
[/font]
Jingle bells batman smells, Robin's flown away, the batmobile has lost a wheel and they don't know what to say.Jack and Jill
went up a hill
to fetch a pale of water
I don't know what they did up there
but Jill came down with a daughter
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and everywhere that Mary went
the boys could see her thighs.
Mary had another skirt
'twas split right up the front
...But she didn't wear that one often (actually there is a different ending)
Mary had a little lamb
it ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its arse
and turned its wool to nylon[/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
he kissed them too cos he was gay.
I remember one that went summat like "Jingle Bells, batman smells.." but I can't remember it
[/font]
When days were old
And knights were bold
And toilets weren't invented
They did their loads
Upon the roads
And walked away contented
And knights were bold
And toilets weren't invented
They did their loads
Upon the roads
And walked away contented
A variation of the "Yellow matter custard..." I first heard in elementary school was:
Funny flummy custard
Green snot pie
All mixed together
With a dead dog's eye
Red blood sandwich
Spread on thick
And all washed down
With a cold cup of sick
Young kids spreading the rhyme around would naturally mis-hear certain original details and make up their own.
Another less scurrilous rhyme we heard was:
One fine day
In the middle of the night
Two dead men got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their swords and shot one another
And, in closing, there was a naughty variation of the rhyme below, but substituting K-I-S-S-I-N-G with (you guessed it) F-*-*-K-I-N-G (kids were nasty!)
Bill and Suzie sitting in a tree
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
First came love
Then came marriage
Then came Billy with the baby carriage
Funny flummy custard
Green snot pie
All mixed together
With a dead dog's eye
Red blood sandwich
Spread on thick
And all washed down
With a cold cup of sick
Young kids spreading the rhyme around would naturally mis-hear certain original details and make up their own.
Another less scurrilous rhyme we heard was:
One fine day
In the middle of the night
Two dead men got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their swords and shot one another
And, in closing, there was a naughty variation of the rhyme below, but substituting K-I-S-S-I-N-G with (you guessed it) F-*-*-K-I-N-G (kids were nasty!)
Bill and Suzie sitting in a tree
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
First came love
Then came marriage
Then came Billy with the baby carriage